Cornwall Boogie Woogie

bernie collage

I look like a hippy today, but now’s a great time to take my photograph because I’ve got pretty good underwear on.

I’m de-hoarding all the clutter at my place at the moment. The sheds are full of stuff – mostly vintage clothes – so we’re opening a shop there in a few weeks. The girls are already in there setting up, and we’ve got a new website. It’s looking pretty good and I’ve got some brilliant stuff.

Have you seen these programmes they have where these awful women come in to de-hoard someone? I wouldn’t let them clean my lavatory. We were thinking of doing a naturist hoarder programme at my place, so that everyone that turns up to de-hoard me have all got to wear bikinis and whatever. And I’ll be flitting amongst the trees with no clothes on. We actually had some friends from Channel 4 down at Christmas and we got quite carried away with it – storyboards and all that sort of thing. And then we decided that the other people wouldn’t be a problem but I wouldn’t like to expose my horrible body with no clothes on. So we decided I could wear one of my crotchless wetsuits instead.

Bernie’s website: