Be who you are because everyone else is taken


“Did you intend to have the air of a cartoon Frenchman today?”


“Are you Cornish?”

“I reside here, but I’m not a local.”

“How did you end up here?”

“I got on a train, and this was the end of the line.”

“Why did you get on the train?”

“It traumatises me to think of it.”

“What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?”

“I dreamed about a paintbrush last night.”

“That must be the world’s dullest dream.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was trying to find it and I actually did find it at the end of the dream.”

“What was the happiest moment of your life?”

“Chelsea winning the Champion’s League last season. Oh, and finding £20 once, up Bread Street on a drizzly morning in winter. That was in the days when £20 was worth something… about a year ago. These days it’s only worth about £19.99”